Divorce impacts the entire family, not just the adults. Extended family feels the effects of your split, and it goes without saying that your kids also have feeling about the case. It is hard enough on most adults to get divorced, so when talking to kids it is crucial to remember their maturity level and ability to process the information is much different. For very young children, it may be that they are not able to control their emotions and may “act out” in response to the news their parents are getting divorced. With a little help though, you can get your kids through divorce without a major upset. Doing so takes hard work and commitment, and sometimes a little help from a professional.
Before picking up the phone and calling a therapist though, try your hand at some one on one time. Some good tips to help you are:
● Make sure your kids know the divorce is an adult issue, and has nothing to do with them.
● Provide reassurance that the divorce is not your kids’ fault, and that they are loved equally by both parents.
● Remain flexible with your ex on holidays and visitation, and avoid fighting in front of the kids.
If your ex has a tendency to miss scheduled visitations, make sure you have a plan B so your child has an activity on the date of the visit. Remember that kids take note of your actions more so than your words, so behave in a way that you would want your kids to behave. Most importantly, if you need help, be sure to ask. Whether you seek the assistance of a trained professional or just talk it over with a friend or family member, remain open to help from people that care about you. Doing so will show your kids you care, and give them the reassurance they need to grow to confident, well-adjusted adults.
For answers to your questions about how to help your kids cope with divorce, call a qualified family law professional. Contact the Chicago Law Offices of Curtis Bennett Ross, LLC. Call us today to schedule an appointment to discuss the specific facts of your case.