Divorce impacts the entire family, not just the adults. Extended family feels the effects of your split, and it goes without saying that your kids also have feeling about the case. It is hard enough on most adults to get divorced, so when talking to kids it is crucial to remember their maturity level and ability to process the information is much different. For very young children, it may be that they are not able to control their emotions and may “act out” in response to the news their parents are getting divorced. With a little help though, you can get your kids through divorce without a major upset. Doing so takes hard work and commitment, and sometimes a little help from a professional.
Before picking up the phone and calling a therapist though, try your hand at some one on one time. Some good tips to help you are:
● Make sure your kids know the divorce is an adult issue, and has nothing to do with them.
● Provide reassurance that the divorce is not your kids’ fault, and that they are loved equally by both parents.
● Remain flexible with your ex on holidays and visitation, and avoid fighting in front of the kids.
If your ex has a tendency to miss scheduled visitations, make sure you have a plan B so your child has an activity on the date of the visit. Remember that kids take note of your actions more so than your words, so behave in a way that you would want your kids to behave. Most importantly, if you need help, be sure to ask. Whether you seek the assistance of a trained professional or just talk it over with a friend or family member, remain open to help from people that care about you. Doing so will show your kids you care, and give them the reassurance they need to grow to confident, well-adjusted adults.
For answers to your questions about how to help your kids cope with divorce, call a qualified family law professional. Contact the Chicago Law Offices of Curtis Bennett Ross, LLC. Call us today to schedule an appointment to discuss the specific facts of your case.
Once your divorce is final, things are different for your whole family. The master closet now only has clothes hanging on one side, and there is an extra spot at the dinner table. In time though, you and your kids will adjust and life moves forward in a positive direction. Sometimes that direction includes a new job offer, or a new romantic interest in a different location. When that happens, you have to consider the entirety of the impact of relocating.
A recent article is a good guide on things to consider when relocating with kids after a divorce. Some important ideas to remember:
● The best interest of your children emotionally, financially, and physically. If your kids are extraordinarily close to your ex and his/her extended family, relocation some great distance away may not be what’s best in the long run. Allowing your kids to maintain familial relationships is an important part of their adjustment after divorce.
● Be prepared for what lies ahead. Scout out family friendly neighborhoods and the school your kids will be attending. Drive around town to become familiar with amenities such as parks and kid friendly dining options. Knowing what you are store for will allow you to accurately present the idea of relocation to your children and shows you are invested in their happiness.
● Keep the lines of communication open with your ex before, during, and after the move. Staying in touch with the non-custodial parent on day to day activities makes both the parent and child feel connected. When a great geographical distance separates family members it is critical to maintain regular communication. It is a good idea to have a scheduled call, or Skype conversation, and to send photos and updates regularly.
If you have made the decision to relocate, bear in mind you may have to seek the Court’s permission. If you are unable to reach an agreement with your ex-spouse, call an attorney for help. We will talk to you about your plans and file the appropriate Motion with the Court.
If you have questions about relocation after divorce, call an experienced legal professional in the Chicago area. Contact the Cook County Law Offices of Curtis Bennett Ross, LLC. Call us today to schedule your appointment.